Sleepy Sunrise.

6.20 AM.

I'm still wide awake. Not a single thought in my brain that could make me going to sleep. But I believe if I put my head on the pillow, in just mere 5 seconds I can fall asleep. You know what, this is ridiculous.

Oh shit! Now I just remember. I've just missed the Cyril Takayama magic show on AXN. WTF! Oh no. I hope there's a rerun later on today. God, I'm waiting for that show since last week when I was pretty much busy with my exam papers.

Today, my road tax is officially dead. Need some money for renewal but the money are also for my new computer. Cool, I have money problem now. I know I should save up a little for the next year project but a computer is a must. A fast one. Engineer's software aren't getting any lighter these days.

Actually, I aim to buy the computer this weekend. I hope so. If I happen not to jeopardize any of this house political issues I might just get one. And I plan to take some games from my friends. If there is any. Or else maybe I just have to download it by myself.

Talk about computer games. I haven't follow it since the year 2005. I hope the installation technology wasn't change any different from that day. Back in 2005, just right in time, I've learned to install games by using a virtual drive. I guess games nowadays are to be install in same way because the size of game today was gigantic. 16 gigabytes? That was too much.

6.44 AM.

The skies already brighten up a bit. The temperature is cold. The air is fresh. You know, this time around human are more sensitive than ever. So I would to reflect on my past behavior toward others.

I realize that I've been a total jerk this year. A schmuck. I never care about other people feelings. What I want to say, I just say it. You know, sometimes it is good to say what we want to say. It is a way to express our feelings. But in some kind of twisted way, it is bad to just speak up your mind.

You know, guys are much likely to joke around but there is a limit for jokes. We talk harsh to others just to show our rough manly side but sometimes I know there is someone out there were hurt by my words. The truth is ugly. Because of it's ugliness, people most certainly don't want to hear it. I don't know. Maybe I just go with the flow and apologize if somehow I come to realize that I just hurt somebody feelings.

6.56 AM.

The sky is clear now. I think I should go to bed. But first I need to do my morning prayer. It is kind of late already. I should change to a much better person as day goes by.

Good Morning, Planet Venus.

"All this 'Men are from Venus' crap is a waste of your time and money." - Mike Chadway, The Ugly Truth.

Projek Akhir Tahun Depan.

Macam celaka dia punya hebat. Setakat modal dua ringgit memang tak jalan. paling koman pun seribu ringgit dia punya ongkos. Macam haram. Masing-masing nak buat robot. Dalam masa gua kagum, gua juga terasa jaki yang amat sangat tengok projek dia orang. Idea basic gua boleh tangkap tapi isi dalam masih misteri bagi gua.

Macam-macam robot hebat ada tapi robot yang paling hebat ialah robot pengesan manusia dalam bangunan runtuh. Dia punya sebelah tayar saja gua dengar dah cecah RM1000. Tambah kucar kacir lagi tayar tu tak jual dekat Malaysia. Kena tempah dari oversea. Cilakak lu mat! Mana lu dapat idea nak buat robot tu?

Gua sekarang tengah mengatur Master Plan dalam kepala otak gua. Apa yang gua nak buat untuk projek gua. Sapa gua nak angkat jadi supervisor. Sapa gua nak contact untuk dapat supply barang. Buku mana guanak selak nak dapat info. Gua nak buat yang ada wayar atau wayar tiada. Kucar kacir otak gua. Mana mau cari idea untuk projek yang legend?

Lagi gua dengar ada yang buat monitoring system guna SMS. ON pakai SMS, OFF pakai SMS, check status pakai SMS. Gua syak mesti dia implement 3310 dalam box dia. Wiring lebih kurang lepas tu jalan. Tapi yang gua misteri nya, mana hala signal dia guna nak hantar SMS dari box ke handphone? Apa dia coding balik ke program dalam 3310 dia? Misteri...

Lagi ada yang buat Robot Arm. Gua nampak macam cikai saja. Kontrol pakai joystick, kepit bola, letak atas paip PVC. Tapi gua pernah dengar, yang kira-kira untuk pergerakan robot arm tu dewa punya panjang. Menitis air mata nak ulang balik kalau silap kira. Tu belum gua kira aspek dari sudut darjah kecondongan lagi. Walaupun gua tau ada filmstrip bentuk bulat untuk kira robot arm, tapi gua masih tak dapat bayang rupa betul dia macam mana.

Oh ya. Material dia orang pakai bukan nya cikai brader. Semua projek gua boleh kata dibentuk menarik. Macam keluar kilang. Tak ada cacat cela. Bukan cairkan plastic pakai solder tapi di acu betul-betul. Masak gua masak semester depan nanti.

Gua setakat ni masih belum dapat komputer lagi. Nak buat research pun payah. Sudah pula tu, road tax kereta gua pula mati esok. Duit lagi bhai. Dunia ni asyik-asyik cerita pasal duit. Ada duit semua jalan. Tak ada duit kita jalan kaki. Cis, gua dah berazam, kali ni punya projek gua nak pulun habis habisan. Gerenti tak letop punya.

"Gua ingat nak buat robot kucing warna biru yang takut tikus." - Kuntil Midon.

Retired Salaryman Blues.

Problems knocking on my door
I sit I smile I think
What to do How to do
I start to work

First is done come second
I stand I swear I yell
What to do How to do
I'm working it out

Second's done and never stop
I flee I lie I hope
What to do How to do
Struggle to make it done

Now I'm free like a bird
I eat I sleep I ponder
What to do How to do
I can't sit still

Sit me down shut me up
I see I heard I know
What to do How to do
Entertain my soul

Talk to me now I'm bored
I sigh I feel I chuckle
What to do How to do
Because I've come undone


"This I've tried and now refuse." - The Strokes, You Live Only Once.

Penghabis Beras (Retired Salaryman Blues).

Hai, nama saya Midon. Untuk selama sebulan lebih ini, saya akan menjadi seorang penghabis beras yang berjaya sama ada secara lisan atau pun perbuatan. Sila beri tunjuk ajar.

Cuti dah bhai. Gua angkat masa dua tiga hari juga nak adjust sifat pemalas gua. Sekali lagi gua mengalami krisis salaryman Jepun yang sudah pencen. Untuk ke berapa kali pun gua tak tahu, gua malas kira.

Krisis begini terjadi bila lu dihujani dengan kerja untuk beberapa bulan dan lu ambil serius seratus peratus pada kerja lu. Dalam kepala lu sudah tidak ada benda lain selain kerja, kerja, kerja. Masa lu tengah syahdu dalam bilik air pun lu fikir masalah kerja. Dan bila mana sampai saat lu direhatkan, lu jadi kucar kacir, sesat, kosong. Lu akan rasa segar bila bangun pagi, main fesbuk dua tiga round dan kemudian lu akan rasa kosong.

Sejak gua habis periksa tempoh hari, gua cuba planning untuk mengisi masa lapang gua. Gua planning nak beli komputer, gua planning nak belajar gitar, gua planning nak tulis blog dan lain-lain plan yang belum gua rangkul. Setakat ni, gua berjaya master beberapa chord gitar macam C, G dan E. Komputer pula, gua masih dalam proses melobi pihak atas untuk mendapat separuh bajet. Dan sekarang, baru gua ada selara nak tulis blog.

Malam gua habis periksa, gua sama member pergi karaoke. Masing-masing all-out pecah suara bengang terpendam selama satu semester. Dalam keriuhan rokes-rokes semua mensumbangkan lagu tempatan, gua pula bawa lagu Spring, kita ditakdirkan jatuh cinta. Saja test power. Ada alun juga lah gua nyanyi lagu slow rupanya. Haha. Gua tak nyanyi lagu inggeris hari tu, pasal lidah gua melayu gua asyik terlipat bila gua cakap inggeris sekarang ni.

Esoknya malamnya gua ronda Putrajaya. Dah nak dekat dua tahun lebih gua menetap di Bangi, itu baru pertama kali gua sampai bandar Putrajaya. Kagum juga gua dengan rekaan artkitek untuk Putrajaya. Artistik Futuristik. Member gua ada cerita dia sesat sampai Putrajaya naik motor. Masa sampai Putrajaya, dia bilang rasa tak padan naik motor masuk Putrajaya. Rasa macam orang hulu. Gua yang masa tu bawa kereta gua sendiri pun rasa tak padan, ini kan pula naik motor.

Hari Ahad, lepas sorang sorang member gua pulang ke kampung. Gua dah mula rasakan Bangi ni makin sunyi. Dengan baki-baki member yang ada, gua cuba juga penuhkan jadual melepak gua. Siang tadi ada sesi persembahan budak-budak FYP semester terakhir. Seperti yang gua sangka, bunga angkasa gua juga ada. Tapi gua dah ambil keputusan untuk lupakan dia. Gua pun dah terang-terang letop saja lebih. Baik gua lupakan saja niat gua nak mengejas.

Sebagai seorang Penghabis Beras berjaya, keluar rumah waktu pagi memang langsung tak ada dalam kamus hidup gua buat masa ini. Gua datang waktu orang tengah sibuk makan tengah hari. Semua budak pun dah malas nak berdemonstrasi. Gua pula segan nak minta. Ah, bukan gempak sangat lu orang buat. Lu tengok gua punya FYP esok, kali ni memang gua tak letop, mustahil gua boleh gua letop.

Tapi kalau nak difikirkan sejarah demonstrasi gua, semuanya tak licin. Last minit mesti ada kacau bilau sana sini. Celaka. Planning A, Result C. Gua ingat, cuti ni gua nak muhasabah diri gua kenapa projek gua tak pernah menjadi. Mana silap gua sebenarnya. Kalau dari segi nak manage teammate gua memang tak ada hal. Semua budak gua dah masak perangai. Gua tau macamana nak tackle suruh buat kerja.

Gua ingat pasal gua pernah dapat dekan, member gua yang lain taruh harapan tinggi sama gua. Kali ini, gua ingat gua nak sound member gua awal untuk sama-sama pecah kepala fikirkan solution. Gua perasan gua ni suka spoil teammate gua. Gua suka kasi tugas remeh sama diorang. Tugas macam typing tedious codes, buat report, pasang wayar, solder board. Semua kerja remeh yang teknikal. Gua cuma buat diagram skematik dan coding yang berselirat saja. Kerja berat mereka semua gua pantau.

Gua rasa gua silap dekat situ. Gua gagal sebagai seorang Mastermind. Gua ingat kali ni, gua nak libatkan sekali teammate gua dalam hal-hal yang sukar. Gua takkan terima ayat 'tak tahu' lepas ni. Sebabnya pasal bila benda troubleshoot, gua seorang saja kucar kacir cari solution. Teammate gua yang tak tahu menahu cuma tunggu arahan gua saja. Tak boleh jadi, kali ni gua dah plan. Semester depan gua nak kasi basuh sama teammate gua.

Aduyai, dah cuti pun kepala gua fikir pasal kerja juga. Gua dah cecah limit gua.

"Jangan ngoma mengikut nafsu, Kolak merano menyosa tersekso badan." - Hattan, Biso Bonar.

Cheerio Chapter Five.

A few more days before the end of this chapter and I sure think the caption for this chapter look a little bit cliche than the others. I was in agony for the entire semester thinking about it. But I couldn't change something I have already decided not to change. Now I seems to regret for not keeping track of all the chapter's title since I started writing blogs. Well, nevermind.

I am currently in the middle of the midst of examination. One more bloody paper to go. And two more for student's life chapter. Three more chapter before graduation and many more to come. I dare to say that nothing much has change since I left the first book. But I am positively sure that my future has change slightly. There is much more shades of light that I can see now.

Yes, this will be the almost ending of chapter five, and three more chapter before I officially ended this second book. Right after graduation I will start a new book. I am pretty sure my mind set will be different by then. And there is a lot of conflict going on. There must be some sort of blackmail or whatsoever. I certainly will laugh my ass of as I read my past chapter as a student. Fighting over assignment? Classmates being an ass for not giving info? Lecturers with 1001 of problems? Malfunctioning training board? The top brass being a cheapskate?

Besides all of that, there's a single most annoying things that I've yet to taste. I never mention any of it in the first book but it looks like the second one was pretty much flooded with it. When you've seen (500) days of summer you will understand. My whole stories was pretty much like the first 20 days for about 600 days of my time as I am really not much of a dancer who suddenly dancing with the crowd and there was no animated bird either. There was never a cyan feelings and now she's gone for good. What would become my ultimate drive for the next two semester? Nothing and I'm lost.

I definitely know there's only two blokes in this world will be frustrated when they heard about this but I know and they know that there was never a single shed of hope for that one. Thanks for being supportive anyway. I'm such a good story teller wasn't it?

Next year, chapter six. Minus with the false love story, I guess there will more conflict than ever as FYP begin to start. And I heard it was ugly than the other student's conflict. A lot of argument and bitter face will be seen. I manage to handle it these past year, and I hope I can do it once again. As for this semester, there has been a conflict between my classmate and I had to be the middleman. But luckily they solve it themselves. What a pain.

Oh God, I really need to concentrate on my last paper.

"No one ever said it would be this hard. Oh take me back to the start." - Coldplay, Scientist.

Seronok Baca Nota.

Malam semalam, gua sama member buat sedikit diskusi ilmiah sambil disaring cerita hindustan di saluran Zee. Amitha Bachan bai. Siap ada Rajnikan lagi. Sambil gua mengajar member gua ilmu garis lurus, sambil jeling cerita hindustan. Layan punya layan buat kerja, perut gua bikin satu lagu syahdu. Keroncong rasa jiwa.

Tanpa berlengah, gua mempelawa member gua pekena teh tarik sama mee goreng di mamak. Seorang pun tak menolak. Selesai melayan nafsu perut, gua mengucap sayonara sama member gua. Gua mahu menyambung pelajaran di rumah gua sendiri.

Sampai di rumah, gua setting barang tulis sama nota gua atas katil. Gua salin kain pelikat dan basuh muka serta teguk air sejuk secawan dua. Gua landing atas katil. Posisi terbaik dan selesa. Gua selak nota. Baca lebih kurang, gua selak lagi.

Gua rasa malam ini adalah antara malam yang paling efektif bagi gua. Layan sungguh gua menterjemah bahasa inggeris kepada bahasa ibunda. Baca punya baca, tiba-tiba gua dengar bunyi henset gua. Gua buka mata luas-luas.

Celaka! Gua mimpi study rupanya. Macam haram.

"Jika mimpi dihapuskan, hancurlah lagu." - Innuendo, Nanti.

Teori Ke Bulan.

Pen dipusing, Pensel dipetik. Setiap bait perkataan dibaca makin kabur. Fikiran yang fokus bagai pakar motivasi makin melayang macam penagih Glasgow. Kepala makin kucar-kacir mencari yang mana satu X yang mana satu Y. Sudahnya iklan aiskrim kungfu di peti televisyen yang jadi persoalan. Tak boleh jadi, mana boleh jadi. Tarikh keramat makin tiba. Minda masih di takuk lama.

Nak overhaul minda? Kalau hati sudah keras macam batu, 10 hari 10 malam belum tentu lembut macam kapas. Sudah keras, hitam pula. Mana nak lari? Jarum masa bukan main cemburu, buat otak jadi tepu. Sempat lagikah hendak mempersoalkan logik semesta? Manusia tidak semudah itu menerima logik yang bias. Macam mana benci manusia sama graviti, macam itu lah juga mereka kena terima.

Marahkan kertas, cendol dihirup. Bukan cendol biasa tapi cendol jagung. Disaring sama keropok lekor, nafsu langsung lena dibuai mimpi. Sedap macam mana pun cendol, akhirnya habis juga. Formula litar masih berterabur. Skema kehidupan menentu segala. Mata yang berat jangan ditentang, bantal yang empuk jangan ditolak. Karang nanti berdengkur deras mesin basuh, jangan salahkan dunia ini tidak adil.

Selamat Malam Planet Jupiter.

"Berpegang pada hakikat, waktu yang bakal menjawab." - Visa, Dalam Gerimis.