Terkesima Melangit.

Mana nak tuju ni? Makin hari makin tersasar. Kejap belok kiri, kejap belok kanan. Apa hal? Kadang-kadang tarik gear gostan tersenyum sendiri. Kenapa perlu gostan lagi? Cukup lah dengan melankolik gostan tu. Setiap inci sudah tersemat di dada. Masaknya belum sudah berangan musim menuai. Apakah?

Mana tak beloknya. Hari ni agenda lain, esok dirasuk propaganda berbeza. Kucar kacir jadinya. Lupakah? Takkan sampai kena mencarut pada cermin baru sedar. Silau karang. Berbahas sendiri, biarkan mereka mengata. Persetankan. Apa nak dicara, mereka tak terlibat secara langsung mahu pun secara ulangan.

Terduduk juga tiba-tiba. Terkesima melangit. Apa yang dikejar sebenarnya? Cukup longgarkah urat nak mengejar benda yang tak pasti? Jangankan tegang di tengah jalan, tersungkur sepak batu belum lagi dikira. Apa pun, berlari tetap berlari. Sudah penat berlari, berjalan pula ambil angin. Jangan merangkak! Konfiden mesti ada.

Bila mentari terjaga nanti, jangan lupa sikat rambut cukur janggut. Tampar manja pipi kiri kanan. Sedar sikit. Siapa kau. Raja mana? Raja Kapoor? Bukan raja mana, tapi raja diri. Duduk bermegah, jalan melangit. Mereka tak peduli, biar sendiri yang ambil peduli. Moga dapat berjalan empuk di atas kepulan awan yang selesa kelak. Kaki jangan menggigil, awan jangan bersepah. Baru terpancar sinar Laksamana Melayu sejati.

"Menjadi raksa, mengisi belikat punggungku." - M. Nasir, Mentera Semerah Padi.

Obnoxious.

It really does make me wonder. Why does everyone desperately seeks for perfection? And in the end they would rather not said what they really seek was indeed a bloody perfection. Talking about love, it is very subjective. So subtle you can't make up any good answer. So whats with perfection? When nothing is perfect then you insist me on trying.

Don't bullshit me my dear. If I'm so naive, so what does that make you? The one who insist for a deniable perfection. We are human on earth, whether we realize it or not, were really hardly keep trying everyday. But I'm a realist. I wouldn't go for it if I'm sure it won't work. Oh dear, am I living in my comfort zone so that I should be left alone. WTF?

I really hate these so called 'Alice'. Whining to every single dissatisfaction but wouldn't accept any people suggestion. She is right, she is absolute, she is a fucking genius. What is wrong with these people? They really can't accept the naked truth. Too much of fairy tales I guess. Finally the princess win and live happily ever after. Does she really think that was a happy ending?

I'm not trying to be negative. But try to accept the truth. Your demand is too high it made my eyes went blind. And I rather will not stand by your words, so I interfere. Finally I did lost for words cause she a fucking genius with a tongue of a snake. Every single words kept piercing right into me. Before I become an uncivilized asshole, I raised my white flag. Maybe I will bother you again in your next whining. Be prepare, I will take no prisoner this time.

I'm such a fool didn't I?

"The way I'm thinking in different shades of grey." - Silverchair, The Man That Knew Too Much.

Blues O' Mine.

It's my greatest trouble of all,
An unknown realm I've discovered,
Trapped in between a smile,
I'm stutter lost for words.

How amazing is your eyes,
My heart suddenly dance,
For every single rhythm,
Beat of your silent sight.

Along my beautiful view,
For the step you made,
So gracefully left behind,
These linger images of my heart.

I can hear deep inside me,
My unspoken heavy words,
It's never easy even you're here,
Sat dearly by my side.

Each time I made a fool of myself,
For letting you slip by my side,
These unreached feelings are still,
Floating so closed to me,
So good I can almost taste it.

"I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn." - Natalie Imbruglia, Torn.

Misteri Kotak Ajaib.

Amaran: Kalau tak ada basic engineering jangan baca. Bahaya!

Dekat lab PLC (Programmable Logic Controller) gua, ada sebuah kotak yang cukup misteri. Nama kotak ni adalah 'Magic Box'. Menurut lecturer gua, kotak ni mampu menukar arus elektrik kepada bait-bait digital dengan bantuan PLC.

Satu hari, gua sama teammate gua nak try setup analog input guna magic box. Gua selak-selak kitab buruk gua dan tunjuk cara-cara sambungan kepada teammate gua. Teammate gua pun pasang seperti gambar rajah yang gua conteng pada kitab gua. Tiba-tiba teammate gua kompelin. Katanya tombol magic box tak berfungsi. Habis pulas pun meter dia tak naik.

Gua rasa pelik. Tempoh hari masa lecturer gua buat demo jadi saja. Apa gua salah lukis ladder ke? ('Ladder Diagram' pula merupakan circuit diagram yang dilukis di komputer dan mampu membaca semua gerak geri PLC). Gua mula gusar. Tarikh dateline hampir tiba. Projek gua tak siap-siap juga.

Petua orang tua-tua, kalau peti tv gambar rosak, ketuk-ketuk sikit tepi dia nanti elok lah. Petua ni nyata mujarab sama monitor CRT gua dan gua guna cara yang sama juga pada magic box tersebut. Gua berdehem dan ketuk lebih kurang. Sekali lagi gua cuba pulas tombol dia. Meter dia tak naik juga.

Gua cabut semua wayar dan gua belek-belek magic box tu. Macam orait saja magic box ni. Gua cuba goncang. Ada bunyi biji-biji. Ni mesti ada resistor ke, kapasitor ke yg tercabut ni. Gua bilang sama teammate gua, gua tak sedap hati tengok magic box ni. Gua suruh diorang tukar lain.

Lepas tukar lain, teammate gua sambung balik macam tadi. Tak jalan juga. Gua naik hairan. Kemudian gua mengambil keputusan untuk memeriksa sambungan pada PLC yang teammate gua bikin. Semua betul, semua macam dalam gambar. Untuk mengelak malu, gua curi-curi tengok suis utama pada meja. Lampu menyala, nasib baik. Check punya check, akhirnya misteri terbongkar.

"Aduyai... Kau salah sambung lah ni. Orang sambung kat 24DC bukan 24AC! Patut ah tak jalan."

"Hahaha... Mana aku nak tau... dah kau tulis sambung dekat 24 je kat dalam buku tu...."

"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, do you?" -Coldplay, Shiver.

Ongkos Minyak Darab Dua.

Gua ingat gua nak cipta enjin pakai air sirap lepas grad nanti.

Bloody Arsesignment.

It is already a few weeks before finals. This remaining weeks is full of assignments and projects. My procrastination habit was still part of me. And she still out of my sight. I guess I should keep my options open since maybe she wasn't meant for me. Instead of waiting for her, I might as well wait for bus, at least they arrive as they should.

Yesterday, I went to my classmate of open house at Gombak. KL huh, there never once in my lifetime the road to KL wasn't busy as hell. It took me almost one hour an a half to reach there. The traffic was congested so was my lung. Countless smoke. The journey yesterday seriously testing my ability to use brakes. And thanks to that I realized that I need to change my brake pad as the sound of screeching becoming more unbearable.

Did you know what the hell is this? This is what us (engineer) called PLC. True engineer's stuff. Involving with countless port and countless wire. And tons of instructions list need to be implement. One of my project was involve with this shit. I have no idea how invented it and was too lazy to Google for it. Ignorant is bliss. Who knows that maybe my great gramps invented this. It might cause an uproar in the family because we didn't inherit any single penny from his richness. Haha. As this machine evolve, many dudes try to come up with variety set of cartridge just to make your life as a student more miserable. Well, its not like I need to memorize all the cartridge function.

Another thing is, my computer sucks! I had a hard time trying to install program in this computer. And eventually I end up using my friends or the lab's computer. You know, if the price of an item, an important item is above one thousand, I never got to use them first hand. Like the car and the computer. Not to whine but at least I'm lucky to have those. And when you used to a slow computer, you will once develop a lag symptoms. When you use a much faster computer, the rate of mouse clicking was abnormal. I mean when you click an icon, you tend to wait for a few second even when the program was already load.

Well, I'm miserable. Even when I'm content, I'm miserable. Or even when I ate rice, I'm miserable too. My life was unorganized. The proof was my notebook. Not the fucking laptop you nerd freak! The actual notebook. Minus the arts, I stuff every subject I learn in that one single notebook. I even reused it for next semester if there is more that half pages being left unused. My hair is miserable too. Even a hair salon failed to solve my hair mystery. My attire, my clothes. Even when I'm wearing an expensive wrist watch and use an expensive wallet plus drive a sedan car, I still look like a hobo and everything around me looks extremely cheap. I once told my friend the cost of my watch was RM80. They instantly believe it. Well, RM80 is a reasonable price for a wrist watch. I know I still got the kicks to cheat.


Well this is the watch that I mistakenly broke last month. And I used it about two week before I bought a new one. In those two week period, countless people have been asking about the watch. And I guess some people did wonder what is wrong with me by wearing a broken watch. I know because when they're staring at me, there are staring hard. Huh, people really can't deal with weirdness, that is why alien do exist. And that is why I once want to become an MIB's agent.
Mr. I, lets kick some alien ass!

"And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse, chop another line like a coda with a curse." - Third Eye Blind, Semi-Charmed Life.

Decayed.

This very significant day is just like any other day except it was branded as mine by my folks. And I'm quite content about it. But since when I started to see logic in life, I begin to wonder, shouldn't these very day belong to our mother who suffered the most hardship to bring us to this world? And partly belongs to our dad for worrying like a mad man.

Hmm.. What have I accomplished so far? None. I will not say it is too late but nothing is too early these days. I am still up for the chase. It is like chasing something mythical which is maybe someday will come to exist. But there is one chasing mission that I failed miserably this year and I think that will never ever happen. And so I thought maybe the subject put an invisible cloak which made the subject hard to detect these days. Nevermind that, I am a man of my word. I will never chicken out when the time comes.

Well, this year certainly is a bit different. I'm not used to so many wishes from others but suddenly I got a few. Well not a lot but at least people do take notice of me for something I had done in the past. And that is what technology is for. Instead of gifts, wishes is good enough for me. I am dude, all my good friends are dude, so just keep things simple. Haha. But I still feel a wee bit unhappy. I got my family, and I got a lot of good friends but I still don't have a special one. Well, I will not judge myself for being picky. You lot should have known that I would choose the best for myself for my faith is too expensive for today modern age. Hey, I carried out this legacy, and I know better than anyone. The only problem is to choose.

You know 7 more years until the D-day is quite a long time. Given by 5 years of freedom to choose on the ocean. And enough about that. I probably should focus on my study first. I mean my assignment to be exact. There is no such thing as I care for my studies. We all learn in school just for the sake of society that needs a piece of embossed paper as an approval for our sanity. So, as for today I'm polish my goals. I will continue to chase for her and at the same time I will not abandon my future and I will change my habits when the time comes. For now I am what I am and I'm proud of it.

It is still my season of freedom. I can dress however I want. I can do whatever I want. I can go wherever I want. I can sleep whenever I want. And I can praise or loathe whoever I want before I need to put a huge barrier for the sake of my love. It is a bit clingy but that is how the commitment should be.

"Excuse me while I tend to how I feel." - Metallica, Hero of The Day.