Tuesday, July 12, 2011


2.01 am.

I'm 25 and I'm still figuring out what to do with my life. Until this very second, I'm not sure if the decision I made is good or bad. Up to this, I just go with the flow. Racking my brain every single day and end up sleeping on the floor. Imagining things that is not going to happen. Increasing my waist size. And wasting my time doing nothing.

You see, my life is a mess but I love myself. I have too much things inside my mind that I really dont give a fuck about what is happening in my beloved country. Years ago, I maybe proud calling myself a good countrymen but nowadays, Im just another loser who done nothing to his country besides complaining how unfair life is treating me. Me myself are at lost of what to do with my life, and I simply can't be bother to take side and debating on a bigger matter concerning our country. I have to admit, I know nothing. It is really not my place to say anything.

Well, about my life. Tomorrow im gonna go back to my old school, started living there once again. And I hope I can make it better this time. Me 5 year before are totally different from myself today. And I would like to prove it. Although I'm still unsure, it is better than not to do anything. I even cant make up my mind, so I made someone else decide it for me.

You know, it feels a bit uncool. A bit dorky, so immature. I can decide things for myself but I choose not to. Why? because honestly I can't see myself doing anything for myself. I don't have any ambitions besides to get rich and travel the world. Very Mat Jenin. But all is not loss. I still had my game face and if keep believing, I can do almost anything.

A sane mind and positive thinking is what kept me going these days. And it also made me go undecided. Sometimes I wish I was a bit like Murdock from the A-team. Insane, not thinking, and awesome. Well, whatever it is. I'm going through with this. It already been decided and I have made my mind also. There is no turning back. Game face! here we go.

I feel so sleepy now. When I feel sleepy and still awake, I will think too much until a mountain of agony was built inside my head. What a nice way to end a day. Good Nite!

2.38 am.