tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2136809865014763632024-03-13T09:48:49.040+08:00Kuntil MidonBook Two, Chapter 7 : Is This The End For A New Beginning?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger131125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-34759102671124820422012-12-18T11:28:00.001+08:002012-12-18T11:28:41.016+08:00Kerja.Gua dah lama tak tulis blog.<br />
Hari ini gua tulis blog time kerja.<br />
Kerja gua bagus, gaji bagus, medical bagus, benefit bagus.<br />
Gua puas hati dengan kedudukan gua sekarang.<br />
<br />
Tapi gua manusia biasa,<br />
Kalau hari-hari duduk saja, gua jadi bosan,<br />
Hari-hari mengadap notes, WI, schematics, baca sendiri,<br />
Gua tak puas hati, Nak merungut sibuk pasal kerja pun tak boleh.<br />
<br />
Kadang-kadang bila gua dengar orang bersungut pasal kerja,<br />
Gua akan fikir, untung la lu ada kerja,<br />
Dari gua yang asyik melanguk from day one,<br />
Kerja-kerja remeh saja yang gua bikin.<br />
<br />
Gua tak puas hati bukan apa,<br />
Gua nak kepuasan sebenarnya,<br />
Gua nak apa yang gua usahakan ada hasil,<br />
Bukan makan gaji buta saja.<br />
<br />
Lagi pun gua dah join rat race,<br />
Teringin juga gua pintas orang lain,<br />
Mungkin gua gemuk barangkali.<br />
Nafas tak pernah cukup untuk berlumba.<br />
<br />
Tak apalah,<br />
Gua tak ambil pusing mana kalau tak ada kerja,<br />
InsyaAllah satu hari nanti gua dapat jadi pekerja berguna buat kompeni gua,<br />
Gua harap di samping keghairahan gua mengejar kerjaya,<br />
Gua tak lupa tuhan dan keluarga.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-32426069861695998292012-02-20T22:50:00.002+08:002012-02-20T23:16:22.889+08:00Entah.<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">Gua yang semakin tak rock.</span><br /><br />Cinta.<br />Hati siapa tak mahu rasa cinta. Banyak liku-liku yang terpaksa dilalui untuk mengenal hati budi seseorang. Berapa lama kau dah bersedia untuk serius, si dia pula yang tidak bersedia. Apa yang difikirkan aku pun tak tahu. Masih fikir untuk berseronok lagi kah? Masih dibuai rasa takut kisah silam kah? Sukar hendak membuat pilihan kah?<br /><br />Hati perempuan. Lelaki mana yang master bab-bab ni? Hati kena kering ke? Kalau hati tak kering macamana? Aku mengaku hati aku memang tak kering. Susah sial nak kering hati kepala kau suka fikir macam-macam. Sial.<br /><br />Kata sayang, kata rindu. Tapi gaya tak serupa yang dikatakan pun. Okay, mungkin lah pernah berkorban sekali dua untuk aku, tapi kalau tengok perangai tu kadang-kadang, rasa tak berkenan saja. Bila ditegur mula tarik muka. Nak cakap gua tak kisah, gua kisah la juga.<br /><br />Banyak benda yang gua kisah sebenarnya. Bila si dia ucap, kata boleh terima baik buruk dia. Kalau ada benda dia buat kita tak berkenan, takkan tegur pun salah? Bila gua dah buat gaya sayang, gaya ambil berat mula la naik kepala. Perempuan, gua betul-betul tak mengerti. Gua sayang dan cinta sepenuh hati tak cukup lagi kah?<br /><br />Patutkah aku tinggalkan dia? Patut kah? Dia nampak tak kisah langsung. Kisah kah dia? Aku rasa nak mencarut kalau begini akhirnya, "Awak tak tahu betapa saya cintakan awak sebenarnya. Tapi awak yang buta tak nampak cinta saya. Kalau lah awak sanggup tunggu saya." Tak boleh blah gua. Kalau situasi di mana gua melepas makan asap pula bunyi begini, " Maafkan saya kerana tidak dapat membahagiakan awak, walau macamana pun, saya tetap sayang awak sampai bila-bila." Perghh, kalau gua dapat ayat macam tu habis semua meja yang gua jumpa gua rasa nak terbalikkan.<br /><br />Entah la.<br /><br />Kadang-kadang gua rasa fedup bercinta ni. Kadang-kadang gua rasa lemah. Belum pernah lagi gua rasa kuat setakat ni. Cibai. Apasal lemah sangat gua ni bila masuk bab bercinta?<br /><br />Macam ni lah plan gua. Andai dia baca sekali pun post gua pun gua tak kisah. Apa ya plan gua? Gua takda plan....<br /><br />Selamat malam.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-62177154857356429482011-12-26T09:01:00.000+08:002011-12-26T09:02:29.216+08:00Have a little faith.Dear God, Help me. Please.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-72554991252955499472011-12-11T18:35:00.004+08:002011-12-11T19:12:41.150+08:00Prejudice.<b></b><b></b><blockquote><b>Prejudice</b> is making a judgment or assumption about someone or something before having enough knowledge to be able to do so with guaranteed accuracy, or "judging a book by its cover".</blockquote>Source: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prejudice">Wikipedia</a><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">It's been a while folks. I think that I'm gonna stop blogging since I have become far more busy than ever. But I can't. You know, I am a man who can clearly gather my thought straight. All the bad thought before this, all the rant, the whining, the unsatisfied things I left it inside this blog. Since I stopped blogging, my life has become upside down. I can no longer think clearly, I speak before I think, and I had become a bloody prejudice person. And the thing that made sway that way is love.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Thank god I have never fallen in love during my studies. It is like Heaven or Hell things when you involve yourself with love. I think that I'm ready, but then again, who is ready when it comes to love. Only experiences that can make you grow stronger. Have faith. But the bloody thing called faith is not something that everyone is blessed with. I'm trying to think positive, but I just can't. Why is that? When did I have become this low?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I sometimes wonder where did my special speech go. It went like these, "Jangan risau lah. Semuanya akan okay nanti". Well, it did work for the exam, but it never work for love. To trust someone is like to put the tip of a sword directly to the heart. You know you could always ask the significant other but there is some factor called pride is involve in this game. You tried to be cool and not to show that you care too much. But you just can't. There is a always a 'What if'.<br /></div><br />Bullshit.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I know that women loves to be care by someone. But sometimes I'm afraid she will suffocate if I show that I care too much. And sometimes I'm afraid that I'm gonna be left with broken heart. Is this normal to you? Is it? Being a human, you tend to listen to what others gonna says. Then you will judge without asking or investigate, then come the prejudice question and the fight will start.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Manly tears. it sound kind of macho in certain ways. But trust me. It is not. Maybe it is easier if you had a switch to your heart. When you wanna leave someone, you just turn off the switch and everything goes blank to right before you know her. Every event with her is a blur. How I wish I could do that. Because this has become too much for me. I'm afraid to let go and I'm also afraid to be left alone. How suck is that?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I saw that other guy are cool with their love one. And someone did said that drama is just for kids. How I wish a have a 'hati kering'. Go to hell with everything. I'm on my own now. I once said to myself that I would never ever trust someone. Not even in the tiniest bit of trust. But when love happen, you just can't help to say that you trust her completely. How stupid is that. In the end, you just can't put your trust in her. Is this the end? Should I stop before I got hurt even more? Should I become a jackass and ask her everything? Is she being straight with me or just play with me? So just she could filled the void in her heart?<br /></div><br />Demmit!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-7235549137555123642011-11-07T23:34:00.002+08:002011-11-08T00:26:03.064+08:00Others life beside yours.<div style="text-align: justify;">You know, to get involve in someone else life is kind of a big deal. Once you get to know someone, you will tend to get close to them, get to know people around them, and of course, you will also get to know their personality. Once you're attach to them, it is kind of hard to let them be by themselves. I dont know where this sense of attachment came from. And it's killing me now. You just cant forget someone easily.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I know, I know very well that I'm going into the depth of hell when I started to get to know her. I know well of the consequences. But still I'm willing to jump into the fire. Burning myself night in, night out. It has been quite a while and honestly I never got tired of her. I know that I foolishly give all my heart to her. But then she seems to have issues with relationship. And for the first time of my life, I felt heart broken. No matter how though a guy is, they always shed a tears for the one that they love.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I know it is hard for her to make a decision. Every single I told myself not to push her for an answer. But I always couldn't help myself. I always find a way to go deep into her heart in hope that I could found her majestic heart. But it seems her heart is full of unfamiliar thorn that pretty much scarred her mind. Paranoid and trauma of past experience made her unwilling to accept me. Or is it me that she is unsatisfied with? It is a single puzzle that I can't solve.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Her behavior towards me, It seems all positive. She even carry along the only present that I gave her. You know, someone couldn't bother to bring them everywhere if they doesn't love you. But the 'best friends' status really hurt my feelings. Everyday I act all positive and casual in front of her. But in fact, I'm afraid of losing her.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">It has come to my attention that she still seeking for the best person to make her life partner. And at this point, the uneasiness is chopping my heart like crazy. Am in the KIV status? what is she waiting for? It has been month you know. Although she had explain her current difficult status which I choose to believe, still I'm unsatisfied with her answer.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Crying because of me, always replied my texting, bring anywhere my present for her. What is she thinking exactly? I know she doesn't chase after me. Even when she said 'rindu' or 'sayang', I always felt she not saying that with all her heart.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">What boggles my mind the most, is when she said I'm the one that understand her the most. It almost made me cried just to hear it. I swear a lot in my mind at that time. What exactly does she meant? And she always said that if only she had been given the chance to get to know me well or being serious with each other, she will wholeheartedly agreed to it.. I know very well that she had commitment issues.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Being with her is really fun. I always feel happy when we both go out together. But the fact that she hate commitment really breaks my heart. I always want to give up. But I just don't have the heart to do it. For the first time in my life, I dare to get close to the girl I love and this is how it turns to be. The world is damn unfair. Full of drama.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-29261405699522887042011-07-12T02:01:00.002+08:002011-07-12T02:39:41.408+08:00Choices.2.01 am.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm 25 and I'm still figuring out what to do with my life. Until this very second, I'm not sure if the decision I made is good or bad. Up to this, I just go with the flow. Racking my brain every single day and end up sleeping on the floor. Imagining things that is not going to happen. Increasing my waist size. And wasting my time doing nothing.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You see, my life is a mess but I love myself. I have too much things inside my mind that I really dont give a fuck about what is happening in my beloved country. Years ago, I maybe proud calling myself a good countrymen but nowadays, Im just another loser who done nothing to his country besides complaining how unfair life is treating me. Me myself are at lost of what to do with my life, and I simply can't be bother to take side and debating on a bigger matter concerning our country. I have to admit, I know nothing. It is really not my place to say anything.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, about my life. Tomorrow im gonna go back to my old school, started living there once again. And I hope I can make it better this time. Me 5 year before are totally different from myself today. And I would like to prove it. Although I'm still unsure, it is better than not to do anything. I even cant make up my mind, so I made someone else decide it for me.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You know, it feels a bit uncool. A bit dorky, so immature. I can decide things for myself but I choose not to. Why? because honestly I can't see myself doing anything for myself. I don't have any ambitions besides to get rich and travel the world. Very Mat Jenin. But all is not loss. I still had my game face and if keep believing, I can do almost anything.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">A sane mind and positive thinking is what kept me going these days. And it also made me go undecided. Sometimes I wish I was a bit like Murdock from the A-team. Insane, not thinking, and awesome. Well, whatever it is. I'm going through with this. It already been decided and I have made my mind also. There is no turning back. Game face! here we go.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I feel so sleepy now. When I feel sleepy and still awake, I will think too much until a mountain of agony was built inside my head. What a nice way to end a day. Good Nite!<br /></div><br />2.38 am.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-49102439346938054612011-06-22T00:24:00.003+08:002011-06-22T03:22:55.590+08:00Kosong.<div style="text-align: justify;">There is a lot of things that I disagree, I didn't like, I'm not satisfy. I do feel complaint about it. But I'm more like to keep it to myself or just a short talk of teh o ais. You know, everything in this world is bullshit. Not everything but some, i think mostly. To picketing about it is stupid too. Waste energy, waste time, not funny. Stand for something or you will fall for anything. Hah, stand for something with a picket sign is definitely not gonna work.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I thought i'm out of my mind. Thinking of wicked things all the time. Sometimes I do have half a mind to whack somebody. It is just my common sense come in my way. common sense with a lot of fear. In other word, a sissy coward.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You know what. Why it is so hard to get a job that we want? What is wrong at being choosy? Did we need to accept any jobs that come our way just because we are fresh graduate? hell no. I refuse to be a lame cow who follow anything that moves. Why must every HR dude must be an ass every time they interview someone? To test us? really? or you just vent all your deepest anger towards us? kamon lah.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Money. I face a lot of deficit since my car broke down last week. I thought I could survive without work until next month. But no. Fuck it. But to rant about it in facebook is kind of annoying. Even when I do it I found myself annoyed. Or I just like to pissed of anybody.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Facebook. Lately I noticed a lot of people trying to uptown themselves like they are some sort of high class or something. Some serious all work politician wannabe, some stupid emo bimbo who watched 90210(is this the right code?) beverly hills or one tree hill or something to that matter. They are emoing like every said things by men is a lie. kemon la. And for the guys who talks in Malay are considered low class and rempits. Lu pun makan belacan kot.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">For the politician wannabe. All serius kinda dude. Serius a poyo who cant take a joke. Please loosen up a bit. No one will call you tak matang if you acted like kids once in a while. Damn it. If I comment in a joke manner. They would ignore me. Or sometimes I try to being serious, still no response. Why? because we social outcast are not living according to their standard. Tak matang.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Another thing, it soon come to my attention that people with money are like they are living on cloud nine with silver lining serve in silver platter. Just because you had more money than me right now doesnt mean you are allegedly to look down on me. Or be less friendlier with me. It does bring me back to a gathering that I stupidly attended to. I felt like an idiot attend that gathering. Of course some are nice, but mostly are not. I dont know, maybe it is just me. But people sometimes doesn't take me seriously. Fuck them to for all I care.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">One more thing. I am no longer to bother accepting any friends from my old school who I never known or remember your existence anymore. The one that I never talked to is the worse. Why? just to add more friends just to look fancy? or you wanna rub somethings in my face just to prove your point that you hated me? OK lah not hate, just unconsciously berlagak.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I've come to term that friends will no longer be friends if you dont contact them anymore. that is fact. Even you're the bestest friends in the world once. But with time, you will come to drift apart. Please accept that. No one can handle being friends forever okay? It is called being nice. If being nice is ignored as well, well go fuck yourself. BFFF? LOL.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">My life. I always dream of doing something insignificant to my country. To the world or for the human races especially. To much watching movies I guess. Fantasize the beyond my ability. At least I am too damn aware of any scam. I dont move a single muscle when I saw any bogus boogeymen trying to contact me by the internet. For me, contacting across world wide web is full of sham. Ditto on internet hook ups. Bullshit.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes, I feel that 90's is the best year ever. No complex pressure. Everything is easy. The internet is at minimum used. Handphone is for the able, not for fancy tard. Did you realize that your status depends on what car did you drive and what phone did you used? People are judgemental. Every last one of them. If they cant see your car, they judge your phone first. Or maybe your clothes. This son of bitches had no style and he is fat to boot. Fat is not handsome I tell you. And being penniless just made it worst.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You know I could easily get uncomfortable eating at fancy restaurant. But I guess among my not so many friends, just one who willing to invite me eating at a fancy restaurant regardless my poor sense of style. Seriously. I am not asking for you to invite me there. Just mamak is okay by me. But when I've been invited to such an alien place for me, I'm thankful. I will never forget your kindness until I die.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I decided to change my life. No more buts. A soon as I score a job, I only devote myself to work. A workaholics. Planning on getting and making every cent that I could. I am tired of acting being okay all the time. Deep inside I'm just miserable as any miserable dude out there.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">All my melodramatic trouble will end as soon as I wake up. Maybe because it is late night. Sort of fuck up my mind. I will a nice person once again tommorrow. Good night. Cheerio!<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-8308911012555264502011-04-20T21:33:00.007+08:002011-04-20T22:32:10.631+08:00Morale Down."Dunia ini tak adil!" - Badak.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Dulu aku gelak saja. Sekarang dah kena baru lah merasa. Bila ada saja rasa kena jentik ulu hati tu, satu badan ketar tak bersebab. Tapi bila gua dapat tahu lampu tak hijau, straight gua masuk Morale Down Zone. Hisap rokok pandang langit sorang-sorang. Rasa cool kejap walaupun melepas.<br /></div><br />Badi mana gua kena ni?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tapi fikir-fikir balik, gua tak rugi mana. Yang tu pun gua consider dekat beratus kali. Banyak benar yang fail dalam kamus gua. Macam gua tak tahu dia cucuk angin saja. Gua pun memang jenis suka melayan. Tapi serius gua tak patut teruskan. Melayan tak apa. Hahaha.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Betul lah apa yang adik gua cakap. Dia sound gua direct punya. Ni semua sebab gua cakap satu hari nanti gua nak belikan BPR gua kasut brand Itali. Lepas tu pula ada chicks yang buat suara manja dalam TV. Adik gua komen negatif, gua suka saja.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Adik gua warning gua awal-awal, jangan cari orang yang berhaluan Itali macam tu. Dan beberapa komen menyampah yang lain. Gua fikir tak jadi hal kot. Hati masing-masing siapa yang tahu buruk baik. Tapi bila gua dah jumpa sendiri, baru gua fikir balik apa adik gua cakap. Memang ada yang tak kena. Gua dengar cakap orang lain pun kata tak suka. Jelak.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Bagi gua yang 24/7 delusional ni, memang gua nampak okay saja. Terbang-terbang bunga kiri kanan. Tapi reality hurts. Benda yang kau suka semua nampak indah pasal kau dah pakai goggles yang tapis semua negativity. Cara nak sedarkan diri adalah dengan mendengar pandangan orang. A whole lot more of negativity. Damn.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tipu lah kalau lu tak pernah jadi judgemental. Manusia ni sikit tak berkenan saja dah menggeletek. Jangan bohong. Dan, dari apa yang gua judge sendiri, banyak fail dari yang okay. Nevermind, as long as she's single, I could give it a try. Besides, peer pressure maa. Member yang selalu layan kisah delusional gua memang suka paksa gua try. At least try. Tu yang penting.<br /></div><br />Tapi bila gua dah tahu lampu tak hijau, gua ikat bendera putih siap-siap.<br /><br />Sekian cerita letop dari saya. Oyasuminasai.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-8114394534512993922011-03-29T23:55:00.002+08:002011-03-30T00:41:26.408+08:00Reason.It's been a while since I wrote anything here. I guess I just lost the reason to write or I am just plain tired of writing blogs. Eventhough it is just my personal rambles, somehow it did satisfied me deep inside. I did try to write a few time but keep deleting it in the end. Im no creative, my life is mundane and my English is bad.<br /><br />I tried to be creative sometimes, but it sucks. I did tried writing poems. It sucks. When i read it back, it had no soul. Im souless engineer to be. While engineer require a certain level of creativity, I just dont have it.<br /><br />As I grow up, I left my favourite past time, drawing. I have giving up on inventing things. My imagination no longer run wild. I've been introduce to much limitations as an engineer. Everything is indeed impossible. When I was a kid, I had this book of invention. I sketch it and wonder how it will turn out to be. I even made a comic for god sake!<br /><br />Being a grown up is painful doesn't it? Responsibility, maturity, love, compassion, all that bullshit we had to deal with every day. I dont know. Maybe because of this darkness and boredom around me made me whining about life and all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-75111065318581137722011-01-29T00:19:00.003+08:002011-01-29T01:15:58.164+08:00Esok OT bhai.<div style="text-align: justify;">Esok gua OT. Bangla cuti pergi joli pun apa gua kisah.<br /><br />Minggu ni selesa sikit la gua bekerja. Bos gua pun angin baik. Entah macam mana jadi kamcing gua tak tau tapi apa yang gua tau, kerja mesti kasi ikhlas, tugas disuruh jangan lupa buat. Gua rasa dah macam pekerja contoh bila asyik kena puji. Riang juga lah ulu hati bila kena puji.<br /><br />Sebenarnya, gua hari-hari pasang taktik. Gua tau gua bukan kaki ampu mulut. Canang sana sini. Gua nak buka cerita pun tak reti. Apa yang gua buat?<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Muka tekun, muka senyum.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Mimik muka kena praktis. Tapi sebab gua jenis tak banyak cakap, gua memang ada bakat natural buat mimik muka. Masa kerja, gua buat muka tekun. Kalau tak boleh buat, gua panggil member gua. Tak boleh juga gua panggil bos. Tapi tu kena usha line dulu lah. Jangan main redah tanya saja.<br /><br />Bila orang lain melawak. Kalau gua rasa lawak dia basi, gua senyum saja. Tak pun keh keh hujung tekak. Bila orang gua tak suka buat jelingan merenyam, gua buat tak nampak. Pergi mampus sama lu. Kalau lawa tak apa la der. Ini.... ah, malas gua cerita. Bukan masalah gua memilih lawa ke tidak, ni masalah lu dah tua bhai. Nak cari anak ikan agak-agak lah. Gua rock der. Penting maruah dari wang ringgit. Tak senonoh sungguh.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) Kalau tak ada kerja, buat-buat ada kerja.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Bukan soal lu nak kipas bos ke apa. Ini soal lu nak jaga hubungan lu dengan bos lu je. Gua tak suka cari musuh. Tapi kalau gua betul, memang gua tegakkan kebenaran gua. Nak takut apa kalau lu betul? Janji lu buat kerja ikhlas, semua tak ada masalah bagi gua.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3) Kalau salah otak mau cepat cover line.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kalau gua terbuat salah, gua akan cari reason untuk cover line. Kalau bos tak nampak, gua betulkan seberapa segera. Kalau kantoi, gua buat muka seposen. Kalau kena marah jangan melawan dan angguk saja. Paling kurang pun gua moral down sampai balik saja.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4) Elak dari bertembung dengan upper boss.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Upper Boss ni kadang-kadang suka up budak-budak praktikal walaupun benda kecil. Ada sekali gua kena puji dengan upper boss, boss gua dan senior yang lain terpaksa tepuk tangan pada gua. Member gua yang susah payah tunduk bawah conveyor sampai baju kotor pun tak kena puji. Tugas gua catat readings dan report abnormalities pada boss. Gua rasa gua kena puji sebab gua speaking der. Gua kalau cemas kena present, memang gua lupa cakap melayu. Bukan gua nak buat lawak Sharifah Amani, tapi sebab gua dah kebas kena present speaking english masa dekat U dulu. Tapi serius gua rasa lain macam hari tu. Sejak kes hari tu, Gua seboleh-boleh nak elak dari bercakap dengan upper boss gua.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5) Jangan rehat selagi boss tak rehat.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Gua bukan kisah sangat nak pergi kantin rehat der. Member-member gua je suka pressure gua ajak rehat. Ikutkan satu hari tak jejak kantin pun tak kisah. Asal gua dapat smoke dan bantai air watercooler sesuka hati gua dah cukup. Lepas gua settle satu kerja saja, gua akan keluar senyap-senyap hisap rokok. Gua tak ajak member pun. Time kerja gua suka buat perangai solo. Itu yang member gua kadang-kadang terasa hati sama gua. Tapi gua kalau time kerja, kalau boleh gua nak space gua sendiri. Kalau masa nak hisap rokok pun kalau boleh gua tak mau berbual pasal dalam kepala otak gua akan sibuk rangkul strategi seterusnya.<br /></div><br /><br /><br />Sial! Dah pukul satu. Gua nak baring sambil berangan kejap.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-8964715122861442852011-01-26T02:04:00.003+08:002011-01-26T02:10:22.702+08:00Annoying Tunes.<div style="text-align: justify;">Gua hari-hari masuk kerja saja kena tadah lagu senam jepun. Muak lah shial. Sesetengah orang buat pekak saja. Kepala gua selalu main muzik, kalau gua termenung pun bunyi muzik kat kepala, sekali sampai kilang, dengar pula lagu tu, habis lari theme song dalam kepala gua.<br /></div><br />Eh, celaka. Dah pukul dua. Gua nak baring pandang siling kejap.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-47031066870806309392011-01-25T00:22:00.002+08:002011-01-25T00:49:04.530+08:00The Last Chapter.<div style="text-align: justify;">Dah lama gua tak update blog gua ni. Asyik sibuk sama duniawi, siberwi gua dah tak layan mana. Kadang ada teringin mau update. Ye lah, biar pun rage penuh di dada, tapi bila balik kerja, penat, malas rasa nak perangat kepala. Hari-hari duduk simpan dalam dada.<br /><br />Ni la pengalaman first gua kerja. Sebelum ni kerja McD tak kira. Gua kerja sebulan, gua rasa tak boleh pergi, gua chow je. Kerja ni ada betul sikit landasannya. Tapi kali ni, rock ke tak rock, gua tadah jer. tak boleh nak ikut kepala gua suka-suka nak chow. Praktikal bhai.<br /><br />Hari ni gua MC. bangun tidur terus gerak klinik ambil MC. Time belajar dulu, bangun je buka facebook, stalk manusia lebih kurang, text member ajak minum. Sekarang dah tak macam dulu. Memang kuat lah terkenang-kenang zaman dulu sekarang ni. Kumat kamit sorang-sorang pun selalu. Dah macam orang tak waras.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Gua tak tahu lah macamana gua nak nilai praktikal gua ni. Apa bagus nya gua tak tahu. Yang gua tahu, gua kena buat benda sama tiap-tiap pagi. Lepas tu troubleshoot mana boleh sana sini. Paling gua sakit sekarang, nak fikir projek. Hangus kepala gua cari idea.<br /><br />Mula-mula dulu semangat lah. Sekarang dah suam-suam kuku. Ada idea tu ada lah sikit. Tapi kepala gua fikir, idea gua sampah. Tu belum orang lain fikir lagi tu. Konfem taraf najis. Gua ingat nak settle kan proposal projek gua hari ni, tapi bangun pun dah tengahari, ambil MC, cari barang keperluan, lepak minum, tengok drama Melayu, layan facebook, makan nasi, dah masuk malam. Update blog pula tu.<br /><br />Fedap betul nak kerja esok. Redah saja lah gua fikir. Gua tak ada pun tak ada siapa nak hirau. Maybe umpat gua lebih kurang, lepas tu sambung kerja balik. Ni gua berbelah bahagi. Nak ke tak nak buat proposal ni. Karang kalau terbelah dua proposal ni terjun masuk tong sampah, menyirap pula rasa. Dilema betul.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kaki gua pula, dah tak rupa kaki orang dah. Kalau nak kata gedabak tu memang dah biasa. Tapi sekarang dah terkupas sana sini. Hari-hari sarung boot ketat. Kental betul kaki gua. Tapi hati gua je tak kental. Tak berapa nak kering. Taman sangat. Dah macam wonderland. Kena kutuk sikit je dah berdesing gegendang telinga gua. Ingat gua ni bodoh alang kelabu asap ke apa?<br /><br />Orang kata, lumrah lah semua tu. Tapi entah lah. Gua rasa macam celaka jugak la sistem macam tu. Tak adil. Tekanan emosi. Rasa nak buat revolusi tempat kerja pula. Minda orang tua sekarang tak boleh pakai. Tapi akhirnya, kata-kata orang tua juga yang betul. Itu yang gua tak gemar bila dah terkena batang hidung sendiri.<br /></div><br />Dah. Gua nak tidur.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-19743070419434790932010-11-07T21:46:00.001+08:002010-11-07T21:48:28.825+08:00[Misery] Exam and FYP.Please put me out of my misery...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">- I am in misery, there ain't no other who can comfort me. - Maroon 5, Misery.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-13487195184936284872010-10-29T04:11:00.002+08:002010-10-29T04:32:21.100+08:00Run away.A few more week to go.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-18648476210939369222010-09-28T21:05:00.002+08:002010-09-28T21:26:02.023+08:00Tension.<span style="font-weight: bold;">ARGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Aku pun tak tahu la nak kata apa lagi. Semester terakhir ni macam-macam bala datang. Aku mengaku, mostly semuanya salah aku yang teramat leka. Tapi kali ni macam dah tak ada jalan penyelesaiannya. Lepas satu-satu masalah datang.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Soal rokok tak payah cerita lah. Paru-paru aku dah se akan jalan tar yang diturap on daily basis nak mengenangkan pressure yang aku kena hadapi hari-hari. Kadang-kadang ajak member minum. Luah perasaan semua. Lega cuma sementara, macam baru lepas bangun tidur lega nya.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Aku tahu member aku semuanya nak tolong aku, tapi macam mana pun kita dekat dunia ni, masalah sendiri kita mesti kena settle sendiri. Pressure beb. Aku langsung tak bajet pressure dia teruk macam ni.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Sekarang aku ada masa dalam 4 ke 5 minggu sebelum habis semester. Dalam jangka masa ni, aku kalau boleh tak nak langsung berganjak dari kerja-kerja yang patut aku lakukan. Memang lah kalau nak dicerita kan 'Que sera sera' boleh, apa nak jadi pun jadi lah. Tapi dalam proses nak menjadi tu yang sakit nya tak tertanggung.<br /></div><br />Ini bukan masalah putus cinta bro. Ini masalah study gua je. Bagi gua masalah putus cinta tu tak lah besar mana buat masa sekarang. Gua sangat concern dengan masa depan gua. Gua cemas dengan masa yang gua ada. Banyak lagi benda gua nak kejar lepas bergelar graduan nanti. Bukan seronok pun beb jadi student ni.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Ye lah, duit loan dapat tiap-tiap bulan pun berpada lah dengan pressure nya. Orang yang dah bekerja semua bilang kerja lagi tension. Tapi aku bukan lah nak membandingkan pressure nya. Buat masa sekarang itu lah dia pressure yang gua kena hadapi.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Entah lah. Fikir siang malam masalah gua ni pun tak guna. Sekarang, apa yang penting, gua kena on 'game face' gua untuk selama 4-5 minggu ni. Gua tahu gua sucks, gua tahu gua tak genius, tapi untuk tahun ke 24 gua bergelar manusia, khalifah di muka bumi ini, tak sekali pun gua cuba melarikan diri dari masalah. Semua gua telan. Jangan risau my friend, we're gonna make it. I'm pretty damn sure. It is not a matter of late or early, it just that you reach your goals by any means necessary. Come on bro! You can do it!<br /></div><br />Just fucking do it... Pleasee....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-13518755949223911172010-09-01T01:05:00.001+08:002010-09-01T01:07:07.362+08:00Pemalas!Gua malas.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-34399234167028474432010-08-19T03:40:00.003+08:002010-08-19T04:36:58.415+08:00Mimpi.<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">3.20 am.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Gua terjaga dari tidur. Macam biasa, kalau mimpi BPR, gua akan duduk termenung sambil hisap rokok.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Mimpi kali ni agak aneh, pelik, teruk dan gua tak tahu apa <span style="font-style: italic;">connection</span> nya. Ya, gua suka buat tanggapan sendiri terhadap mimpi walaupun gua tahu semuanya hanya permainan tidur. Ceritanya begini;<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Situasi berlaku di kawasan rumah lama di Danau Kota. Keadaannya sama seperti gua tinggalkan dulu. Tiada kacau bilau, tiada hiruk pikuk. Gua tak pasti umur gua berapa kerana saiz badan gua kerap bertukar.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Dan BPR gua dan sorang lagi makwe pun <span style="font-style: italic;">enterframe</span>. Naik kereta kebal. Besar bagak tinggi rumah. Perasaan gua: gua rasa macam kawan lama masa kecik. Orang lain sekeliling macam tak ambil pusing pasal dua budak perempuan datang bawa kereta kebal. Cukup<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Inception</span>.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Gua pun datang tegur dua budak perempuan tu. Dan macam gua cakap tadi, saiz badan gua dan mereka turut berubah. Dah tak budak dah. Saiz badan gua katang macam <span style="font-weight: bold;">Brad Pitt</span>. Ni gua tipu. Gua pun berbual dengan makwe sorang lagi. Dialog gua dah lupa. BPR tengah sibuk <span style="font-style: italic;">setting</span> kereta kebal dekat atas.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Entah macam mana gua boleh <span style="font-style: italic;">follow</span> makwe ni balik rumah. BPR pula menyusul kemudian. Gua macam tak ambil pusing lagi pasal BPR. Situasi membawa gua ke lorong perumahan. Makwe tu ajak gua lalu jalan belakang. Gua <span style="font-style: italic;">insist</span> lalu jalan depan pasal jalan belakang rumah penuh kotor dengan macam-macam objek yang gua tak nak cerita. <span style="font-style: italic;">Gore</span> waktu siang yang biasa.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Makwe tu berkeras nak ikut jalan belakang. Gua turutkan saja. Dan gua pun <span style="font-style: italic;">follow</span> makwe tu menempuh jalan-jalan yang sukar. Sampai masuk satu rumah terbiar dan ikut dia panjat dalam loteng atap rumah. Sekali lagi fizikal badan gua berubah. Entah macam mana gua boleh muat masuk loteng gua pun tak tahu. Mungkin gua ada bakat jadi arkitek <span style="font-weight: bold;">Inception</span>. Lepas ni gua apply dekat<span style="font-weight: bold;"> JobSreet</span>.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Panjat punya panjat, gua pun sampai dekat rumah makwe tu. Rumah <span style="font-style: italic;">family</span> dia. FYI, kawasan rumah kat Danau Kota tu kawasan rumah teres. Jadi sebagai arkitek mimpi, gua automatik boleh ejas yang loteng atap rumah tu ada<span style="font-style: italic;"> connection</span> sepanjang teresnya.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Makwe tu bilang sama gua suruh gua duduk senyap-senyap. Nanti nenek dia nampak, nenek dia bising. Dia pun keluar dari bilik dan lupa tutup pintu. Gua biarkan saja pintu terbuka. Entah macam mana adik perempuan gua pun ada dalam bilik tu. Sambil tengok cermin, adik gua cakap tu member dia. Langsung tak ada sebarang respon negatif yang gua dah masuk rumah orang secara haram dan tambahan pula bilik perempuan. Perasaan gua: biasa-biasa saja.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Entah macam mana situasi gua bertukar lagi. Saiz badan normal, gua sedang pakai kain pelikat tanpa pakai baju dan sedang pegang gitar. Dan yang paling aneh gua boleh<span style="font-style: italic;"> strumming</span> gitar tu dengan baik. Lagaknya seperti <span style="font-weight: bold;">John Mayer</span>. Perasaan gua: Oh, elok pula tuning gitar ni.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Sedang leka strumming, nenek makwe tu lintas depan bilik. Muka dia antara perasan tak perasan saja gua di situ. Dia lintas, masuk bilik sebelah dan terus keluar balik sambil pegang pisau dan daun pandan. Apa kes ambil daun pandan dekat dalam bilik tingkat dua? Gua rasa gua memang arkitek <span style="font-weight: bold;">Inception</span> yang artistik. Heh.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Lepas saja nenek tu turun ke bawah, gua dapat dengar suara nenek tu membebel. Membebel pada makwe tu dan ibunya gua rasa. Bunyi macam marah pasal ada budak lelaki dalam bilik. Gua la tu. Hati gua jadi tak tenang. Rasa bersalah. Adik gua masih lagi tenang tengok cermin.<br /></div><br />Mana pergi BPR gua?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-21938763886823403652010-07-27T22:19:00.005+08:002010-07-27T23:24:19.202+08:00Merah.<div style="text-align: justify;">Gua sedang leka kunyah cucur di satu sudut kedai. Gua konfius dengan cucur yang gua beli dari pasar malam tadi. Adakah ini cucur badak, cucur udang, atau semata-mata cucur kodok sahaja. Sedang leka mendeduksi makanan sendiri, datang seorang lelaki misteri duduk semeja di sudut gelap. Gua samar-samar akan wajahnya.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Aku tahu kau ada masalah." Bilang lelaki misteri.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Siapa yang tak ada." Jawab gua spontan.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Lelaki misteri tersebut capai kotak Winston gua. Dia dirikan kotak tersebut. Kemudian dia dirikan pula lighter cricket gua. Hati gua tersentak. Tapi gua masih belum cemas. Gua fikir lelaki ini buta tuli menembak.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Merah." Lelaki misteri senyum sinis.<br /></div><br />"Shit." Gua dah tak dapat sembunyi cemas gua.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Lelaki misteri tersebut menghulurkan sepucuk Colt .45. Sial.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Nah, jalan penyelesaian. Hapuskan memori kau." Lelaki misteri semakin serius.<br /></div><br />Hati gua dari berdebar bertukar jadi marah.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Kau tak ada hak nak campur urusan aku. Memori ini aku tak akan hapuskan." Balas gua tegas.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Kenapa tidak? Kau nak kekal sebagai lelaki gagal sampai bila?"<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Aku tahu aku gagal, aku bacul. Tapi aku tak mahu hapuskan memori ini."<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BAMMM!!</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Lelaki misteri menghempas tangannya di meja. Mata aku terpaku pada jam tangan nya. Jam retak berjenama Milane. Aku semakin gusar.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Kau mesti hapuskan! Atau hati kau tak akan terbuka sampai bila-bila!" Jerkah lelaki misteri seraya mengeluarkan kepala nya dari bayang.<br /></div><br />"A...a.. aku?" Terperanjat beruk aku, hampir terjatuh dari kerusi sendiri.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Ya, aku adalah kau. Alter-ego kau sendiri." Jawab lelaki misteri sambil menyalakan rokok Winston aku.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tangan aku menggeletar mencapai pistol di atas meja. Aku off kan safety nya. Jari telunjuk bersedia pada picu. Muncung pistol dihala pada kepala sendiri.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Ini yang kau mahukan bukan?!! Lupakan segalanya?! Bunuh diri??!!" Mata gua berair.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">"Yaaa. Dan supaya kau tak mati tertanya-tanya, aku akan beritahu kau satu lagi perkara."<br /></div><br />"APAAA???"<br /><br />"Ini cucur badak." Jawab lelaki misteri sambil menyuap cucur ke mulut sendiri.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">FUCK. Hati gua tersentap. Marah. Sangat marah. Pantas gua hala pistol pada lelaki misteri dan tanpa fikir dua kali.........<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">POOOOWWW!!!!!</span><br /><br />Gua tiup kepala pistol seraya berkata,<br /><br />"Daging badak jual kat pasar gelap, bukan pasar malam."<br /><br />"Bodoh."<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">"Dream. Send me a sign. Turn back the clock. Give me some time. I need to break out." -Ryan Star, Brand New Day.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-43030775227595284232010-07-26T22:33:00.002+08:002010-07-26T23:47:14.191+08:00Negative Attitude and Concealed Feelings.Makes a perfect hypocrite. I wonder if it is natural by nature or just being a plain coward? These past few days, I just learned a thing about microexpression. Because it is a micro, it is almost impossible to notice without years of practicing.<br /><br />Although, we occasionally did detect if someone was lying. It is that we wasn't that sure and was afraid if the other would suddenly snap when being accused. Or maybe we just being polite.<br /><br />I support any romantic proposal. I love romantic movies. I know how to be romantic. But it never occur to me to try to be one. Because for one thing, that I know for sure, people tend to get tired. And after that every to fade to black. It is called commitment.<br /><br />I saw many girls fb's status, and some from blogs. It seems that they were living above the cloud nine and they loves it. I love to be surprise like this, I love to be pamper that way. When will they learn that there is no men like that? Once in their pants, poof, gone. Goodbye red roses here come occasionally white tulips.<br /><br />But it wasn't fair to women if men being an unromantic son of a bitch their whole life. Maybe once in while it is okay, but men tends to forget. Just remind no hint and stop smothering. Men are hypocrite by nature with ego on top.<br /><br />Well, in the end, just to prove when someone is lying you need to be a tougher jackass. Vicious eye contact, throw a few hand gesture, clear voice, quick on words, and most importantly, believe you're right even when you're wrong.<br /><br />In a fierce conversation, we often throwing junks when we're out of facts. Then create a new believable fact. Preferable one with explainable chaining reaction, support by some true obvious facts. It is called speculate. Or gossip. It is just for the win sake. Nothing is more sweet that winnings.<br /><br />Horray, only one more chapter for a new book!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-54042602939420347682010-07-04T01:46:00.005+08:002010-07-04T05:42:21.262+08:00Billionaire.Good riddance Argentina.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">What a nice game between Germany and Argentina. Salute to Argies players for showing a good fighting spirit until the end. And it is a wise decision to cheer on Germany tonight since I did enjoy the the frustrating faces on Argies fans. As the Argies scored their first goal, the crowds at mapley were cheering like hell just to know it was an offside. Hahaha...<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Anyway, as I came back from mapley with a happy evil face, the billionaire song was play on the radio. The song keep playing in my mind and I just can't help it to You Tubed for it. And for a while it got me thinking. A cross reference thinking to an episode of Leverage. It has already becoming a habit for me to cross reference for everything that was on my mind lately.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">There was something that tickles my mind from watching 'The Reunion Job' episode (Leverage, season 3, 2nd episode). You see, the rich mogul called Doucherman is a real life douchebag. He feel that he has a need to show off his success to his alumni fellows. He thought that it was satisfying to rub it on their faces. Well it is not.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Let me be frank with you, I was a John Doe in every school I went. Primary and secondary, there was a few people who still remember me. And I always avoid every chance I had for a reunion. At first, I thought I will join the reunion when at least I can afford my own car. But then, it got me thinking again. Why should I? What I got to say to them? There is only a few tiny bits of memories of them left inside my head. No, I better be stay anonymous.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">As for my life in university, things were the other way around. From MMU to MFI, people do recognize me somehow. Even once in a while when I did visited Malacca, there was a few passerby who recognize me. Even the nyonya from mini mart still recognize me after a few years of my absentees. Then again, it did flatter me in some way.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">In the Billionaire music video (Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars), Travie portray as a cool billionaire who shows an act of random kindness to any passerby. Then it struck me again, maybe if one day I did becoming a billionaire, I would do the same thing.<br /></div><br /><blockquote style="font-weight: bold;">One death is a tragedy, a thousand deaths is a statistic. Well, the same holds true for acts of charity. - Sophie Deveraux, Leverage.</blockquote><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You know, instead of build a school, clinic or whatsoever, it is better to help people individually. Instead of donating a big check and make it to the front cover of newspaper, it is better to give a new car to your own relatives or friends and make it into their heart.<br /></div><blockquote></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;">If I ever make it as a billionaire, Everyday I wish to wake up in different city and different country. Start with from an urban town like Tokyo, London, Manhattan, Paris to a rural town like Hokkaido, Hampshire, Dublin, Dordogne or wherever that has a serene surrounding.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">My first plan is to shop anything that is shoppable. Clothes, gizmos, perfumes, or maybe some random Viking lamp. I will record my journey. Not 24/7. Just a little sneak peek of some location and some random ramblings without any further embarrassment that will mark me as a typical tourist. And at the end of the day I will write a journal that will be publish into this blog.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I will choose a few items to take with me and mail the rest back to Malaysia along with some souvenir to family and friends. And of course, a key chain for my keepsake. You see, even now I have tons of key chain on my bag. Even though I already lost some of them, I will not give up. After all, I am a man of habit. I'll make sure to buy two of them. One to put on my back pack and the other one I will mail it back to Malaysia. Heh. Just in case I lost my luggage.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">After tired with shopping and some uptown activities, I will visit any rural area. Maybe rent a country home in Dublin. Walk through bed of flowers and endless road. Drink a cup of coffee in the morning. Visit any museum. Do some history research. Or maybe go fishing in Hokkaido. Visit the their fish market. Visit some farm. Like apple farm in Manchester. My parents used to visit there when I was still a baby. Maybe one day, if the farm still exist, I will visit there. I still got the address though.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, you know, if one is a billionaire, I doubt he or she is a nobody. As for me, as I travel for different countries, I might as well visit some technology companies, maybe if I am lucky, I can pick up few things. Or maybe I will be inspire or discover something new. Invent or improve something.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Or maybe sample some fruits or vegetables. Learn the thing that is necessary for them to grow. I always wonder how did they grow the Matsutake Mushroom. Or learn a few anglers trick. Catch some big fish and print the body on a big paper. You know, the one that the Japanese did and they frame it after that. Most likely can be seen inside a restaurant.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, for what its worth, I had loooong treacherous way to make it as a billionaire. I maybe will start earning my own money when I am 25. I have to pay both of my student loans. And maybe after this, house loan, car loan. Life is a debt you know and I just don't like this kind of debt. And for godsake! Robert Kiyosaki's book still doesn't make any sense. At all! Or maybe I'm too dense with business jargon.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">"Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it." - Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars, Billionaire.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-7866856736622452442010-06-16T00:10:00.002+08:002010-06-16T01:49:21.862+08:00Gua Nak Bela Rambut Balik!<div style="text-align: justify;">Gua dah rimas rambut pendek. Gua nak simpan balik rambut panjang bagi orang lain pula rimas. Gua sorang saja rimas mana boleh. Dari teori ilmu alam gua, gua rasa dalam nak dekat raya nanti rambut gua panjang balik. Dan gua tau makcik - makcik gua, sepupu sepapat gua semua rimas tengok gua masa raya. Hahaha. Memang gua suka orang rimas tengok gua.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Bela rambut balik ye. Orang perak cakap 'bela' ni maksud dia <span style="font-style: italic;">repair.</span> Uncle Seekers kata 'bela' ni memiliki. Gua kata 'bela' ni biarkan saja. Setahun sekali lah gua pakai <span style="font-style: italic;">hair conditioner</span>. Tengok mood metroseksual gua. Jantan tipikal biasa lah.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Gua dah sebulan merancang nak pergi tampal kasut gua. Tapak dah terkoyak. Dan juga dah sampai masa untuk aku potong kaki seluar. First time pakai seluar mahal bhai. sayang nak potong. Tapi dah genap dua tahun aku pakai seluar ni. Aku rasa dah sampai masa nak kena potong kaki seluar dia. hari-hari sapu jalanraya. Balik rumah mesti bawa balik batu dua tiga biji punya dekat kaki seluar. Konfem.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Dalam masa sebulan gua rancang nak buat dua benda tu, sudah nya mesti gua tak jadi buat. Macam macam alasan emosi yang tak diterima akal orang lain. Atau dalam bahasa saintifiknya, malas! Cakap orang suruh rajin memang senang, bila dah kena batang hidung sendiri benda simple macam ni pun tak boleh buat. Drive 10 minit pergi Warta pun payah. Jumlah masa berurusan dalam satu jam saja, jawab periksa satu paper 3 jam straight sampai kebas punggung berasap kepala boleh pula.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Bercakap pasal jawab periksa ni pula. Gua akan rasa <span style="font-style: italic;">high</span> saja tiap kali keluar dewan periksa. Hembusan rokok paling best dan <span style="font-style: italic;">rare</span> adalah selepas jawab periksa. Lagi-lagi kalau langit cerah awan berarak, mentari menyinar. Rasa macam baru lepas perang. Rasa hero tak terkata. Kalau masa tu rambut panjang, kena pula tiupan angin, memang rasa <span style="font-style: italic;">superhero plus plus</span>. Hahaha...<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tadi gua belek gambar-gambar. Ada satu caption tulis '<span style="font-style: italic;">young and hopeless</span>'. Gua rasa gua pegang title tu sekarang. Gua betul-betul tak nampak mana hala tuju gua sekarang. Kerja apa gua nak buat? Kereta apa gua nak pakai? Rumah mana gua nak beli? Dan yang penting sekali, tulang rusuk mana yang padan sama gua?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tulang rusuk. Gua rasa gua pernah ada conversation ilmiah pasal ni masa <span style="font-style: italic;">first year</span> gua dekat MMU. Macam mana yang lelaki kekurangan satu tulang rusuk yang perlu diberi kepada perempuan. Asal nya rasa macam tu lah lebih kurang cerita dia dan entah macam mana gua yang sangat naif masa tu boleh <span style="font-style: italic;">suggest</span> yang teman hidup kita, itu lah tulang rusuk yang kita hilang selama ni. Dan tak semena mena member gua dapat idea <span style="font-style: italic;">pick up line</span> baru.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Dia pernah gua atau tidak <span style="font-style: italic;">pick up line </span>tu aku tak tau. Tapi yang pasti gua tak pernah guna. Dan gua ada perasan lagu drama cerita melayu petang Maghrib ada sebut tulang rusuk. Gua tak dapat tangkap ayat dia. Pasal dia nyanyi laju dan gua malas nak ambil port secara serius. Cuma setiap kali gua dengar, detik berseloroh beberapa tahun yang lepas buat gua jauh termenung. Saat paling gembira dan bebas dalam hidup gua.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Sampai bila nak jadi '<span style="font-style: italic;">young and hopeless'</span>? Sampai jadi '<span style="font-style: italic;">old and hopeless</span>' kah? Tidak. Gua rasa tempoh '<span style="font-style: italic;">young and hopeless</span>' gua akan berakhir tahun ni. Itu hari gua balik solat jumaat, sedang gua leka jalan menonong, datang sorang mamat jalan seiring dengan gua. Elok saja gua nak kasi <span style="font-style: italic;">flying kick</span> secara kasar, rupa-rupanya mamat ni pernah kelas sama gua.<br /></div><br />"Eh? Dah kerja ke? Kerja mana? Sony?"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tunggang langgang jadi soalan gua. Tak sengaja ter-retorikal. Dah terang-terang dia pakai vest Sony. Dia bilang dia tengah intra. Hati gua jauh menusuk yang dia macam segan saja kalau kerja tetap sekali pun di Sony. Tapi memang gua dah tahu dia intra. Gua saja buat spekulasi busuk. Hahaha... Gua tanya lagi soalan retorikal.<br /></div><br />"Amacam paper <span style="font-style: italic;">last</span> sem? Okay?"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Mamat tu tergelak. Muka <span style="font-style: italic;">happy</span> lahanat. Memang gua nampak lah kebebasan di raut wajahnya. Gua memang pandai baca orang. Itu lah cikgu gua cakap dulu, orang Amerika suka baca buku, orang kita suka baca orang. Gua memang orang kita yang sejati.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Pernah tengok <span style="font-style: italic;">'Up in the air</span>'? Ada sekali George Clooney cakap, Kenapa budak-budak suka pada atlet? Pasal dia orang kejar cita-cita dia orang. <span style="font-style: italic;">Bullshit!</span> siapa yang tulis skrip tu? Gua tak pernah <span style="font-style: italic;">admire</span> mana-mana atlet langsung. Ada sekali gua pernah <span style="font-style: italic;">admire </span>Hakuto dan Minami. Gua nak <span style="font-style: italic;">join special forces</span> tentang raksasa ganas. Dengan harapan gua akan dipilih sebagai t<span style="font-style: italic;">he next</span> Ultraman. Lepas gua tau raksasa memang tak wujud dekat jepun, gua dah tak pernah <span style="font-style: italic;">admire </span>siapa-siapa.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Cakap pasal cerita tu, Lu orang cuba tengok kerjaya George Clooney. Gua rasa kerjaya macam brader tu memang <span style="font-style: italic;">cool</span> sampai lah satu masa yang minah Twilight ni <span style="font-style: italic;">decide to go 'Glocal'</span>. Apa neraka? merampus lah brader Clooney, gua sendiri tengok pun palat. Ada pula nak <span style="font-style: italic;">fire</span> orang guna <span style="font-style: italic;">video conference</span>. Gua palat bukan nya nak cerita kesan psikologikal nya <span style="font-style: italic;">fire </span>orang guna cara tu, Tapi sebab <span style="font-style: italic;">privilege</span> untuk <span style="font-style: italic;">travel on air</span> secara percuma kena tarik! <span style="font-style: italic;">Shit!</span> siapa tak bengang!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Secara jujurnya apa yang minah twilight tu cakap, yang guys have to piss everywhere to mark their spot like dogs was anotherr bullshit. Memang brader Clooney tu cakap dia nak kejar <span style="font-style: italic;">milage on air</span> tu. Tapi gua rasa tak semestinya sebab tu, dia nak benda tu jadi memori kebebasan dia. Ish, gua rasa gua paham lu la brader Clooney.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Okay, esok gua nak pergi tampal kasut dan jahit seluar. Tapi seluar gua tak basuh lagi. <span style="font-style: italic;">Damn</span>.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-91520971414782962552010-06-15T22:06:00.002+08:002010-06-15T22:59:49.475+08:00Plans.<div style="text-align: justify;">Plans... plans... i gotta make some plans. You know, gotta get my feet on the fair ground. I'm tired of living like these. I literally don't have anything to do. I know I got tons of work to do but I just can't make up my mind to do them. Every single day, I woke up, staring at the ceiling for 5 minutes, close back my eyes and there I am again.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I've been doing a lot talking to the wall lately. You know, you never got verbally abuse by talking to the wall. It's pathetic. I'm loathing myself for doing that sometimes. What a loser. But in some ways, I found it extremely satisfied. Well not extremely, just a bit. Having a wall as your best secret keeper wasn't exactly any sane human will do. It suck. It does. Then again walls do have eyes. Yeah, I'm a fan of spies flick.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Dual personalities, between superheroes and spies. I'm more prefer spies than superheroes. I mean come on, who can actually fly? What I like about spies life is that you got to be anyone you want to be. Given that you have to keep that secret from your families and love one. And also your life is at stake. No problemo. Sure the big picture is you have to give up your life. But yeah, why not. We serve for our country. We died as a hero.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Actually, I'm not concurrently personified on how suave James Bond can be. I mean he got English accent. Man, I told you that is a big foul play. Like playing football without a goalkeeper. Then again, all spies has a good look, which I know I'm not gonna done so well even if I try.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Well then again, I've these things called honesty. I know girls like honesty, big time! But hey, you know, tell me who doestn't lie in this world? I know I am as straight as an arrow. I am honest most of the time. But I'm a big fan of keeping secret and I am sure I am good at digging them also. Yeah, there is not so much secret about me. At all. Except from this blog, that I have no idea who ever read this.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You know, I purposely left the blog title as Kuntil Midon. Which who ever wanna pick a bone with me can google from that name and found this blog. I mean Kuntil Midon was not such a big secret for those who ever know me. And for all I know, as a spy, keeping stuff on the world wide web is a big no. Which also got me thinking why do some flick even bother to left all their information inside their laptop and never bother to turn it off and cut off the internet connection.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You know, if it was me, i'll do it old school. Papers and files. And tapes. Unless the hacker is also a thief, there is no way they can steal my information. So they can't never get a dirt on you. Because you know, emotion is such big failure for being a spy.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Crap. Actually, the reason why I wrote these was to straighten up myself. So that I will start doing my FYP with a clear head tomorrow. But all I end up with is all this gibberish talk about being a spy. Boys will be boys. Hah, I wish that wasn't true.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">"Be a man!" - Russell Peters.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-16741438179865685392010-05-29T13:47:00.007+08:002010-05-29T14:57:13.701+08:00Muda.<div style="text-align: justify;">Sejak aku lahir ke dunia, dari saat aku melepaskan genggaman tangan aku, aku sudah mula bersedia sahut cabaran dunia. Bibit audio pertama yang diluahkan, tapak tatih yang dilangkah, bukannya ciri seorang manusia yang gagal. Makan, tidur, makan, tidur sampailah aku mula punya keinginan sendiri. Tak langsung mencerminkan evolusi yang tak sempurna.<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kenapa aku selalu tak bertenaga. Kenapa hati aku tak pernah tenang. Aku tak pernah gembira. Ketawa aku spastik. Nada 'haha' dari hujung bibir aku tak pernah sampai ke telinga sendiri. Tak kira berapa kuat aku ketawa, aku masih tak dengar bunyinya. Samar pun tidak.<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Aku tak faham. Apa aku lakukan selama ini ikhlas atau tidak. Tak kira apa pun. Aku tak rasa aku ikhlas. Plastik. Aku sentiasa ada niat tersembunyi. Orang tak tahu, aku penuh berahsia. Itu sebabnya aku pilih untuk tidak bersuara. Tak cukup ikhlas.<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Penumbuk aku masih teruna. Dan aku harap dia akan terus teruna sampai hari aku berhenti bernafas. Aku tak dapat kawal marah aku. Bukan marah pada sesiapa, marah pada diri sendiri. Marah yang berselubung di jiwa buat aku tak kenal siapa aku sebenarnya lagi.<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Berurusan dengan manusia lebih menyeramkan dari berurusan dengan hantu. Aku selalu persetankan ideologi orang lain. Mungkin kerana itu aku lahirnya rasa takut dalam hati. Walaupun jauh beribu batu aku lari, hati aku tetap tak tenang.<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Banyak benda nak dipersoalkan. Kenapa hujan turun? Kenapa burung dapat terbang? Kenapa Oksigen perlu untuk pembakaran lengkap? Kenapa Voltan berkadar songsang dengan rintangan? Kenapa perlu ada rasa cinta? Kenapa tidak boleh hidup berseorangan? Kenapa perlu bernafas? Aku lemas sendirian.<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tahukah kamu, dari struktur otak manusia saja kita boleh selesaikan pelbagai masalah di dunia? <span style="font-style: italic;">Artificial Neural Network</span> contoh terdekat. Aku kagum. Lagi banyak aku tahu lagi banyak aku berfikir. Walaupun aku bukanlah dari bidang psikologi, cuma garapan sendiri dari ilmu kejuruteraan, cukup buat aku gementar. Tahukah kamu macamana nak tukar bateri kereta?<br /></div><br />Muda.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Aku ingat aku ini <span style="font-style: italic;">simple minded</span>, nampaknya aku hanya bermimpi di siang hari. Aku cuma bersembunyi tutup mata, tutup teling<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>a. Kemas mana pun aku tutup, anak mata tetap melirik, gegendang tetap mencari frekuensi. Tapi apakan daya, tangan aku lumpuh. Tak, aku memang sengaja buat-buat lumpuh. Celaka.<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">'</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Ignorance is Bliss</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">' kepala lutut abah kau!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-6646288296219329512010-03-23T01:49:00.002+08:002010-03-23T02:01:28.265+08:00Project #1.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xp1RpANxT70/S6ewYiYMi6I/AAAAAAAAAI4/9-L3cetr0r0/s1600-h/Ex32.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xp1RpANxT70/S6ewYiYMi6I/AAAAAAAAAI4/9-L3cetr0r0/s320/Ex32.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451519809546914722" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Ah, gua dah berasap satu kepala.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Angin satu badan.<br />Mata merah menyala.<br />Payah betul nak research projek baru.<br />Dari tadi gua smoke tak berhenti.<br />Teraba-raba cari solution ideal.<br />Paru-paru gua dah padat dengan nikotin.<br />Gua dah mati akal.<br />Apa lagi idea yang gua ada?<br />Minggu ni punya task tak complete lagi.<br />Masak gua macam ni.<br />Ni yang buat gua bara sama Pak Cik Einstein.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213680986501476363.post-9582168144683463952010-03-22T22:48:00.003+08:002010-03-22T23:26:05.081+08:00Cerita Member Gua.<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51); font-weight: bold;">Gua dah tak banyak cerita ceria sekarang. Jadi gua ingat gua nak cerita member gua punya cerita.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Dulu waktu aku pergi KFC sama member-member aku, adalah sorang member aku ni. Mamat lah kita kasi nama. Dia ni baru first time pergi makan dekat KFC rasanya. Jadi kita orang masing-masing beraturlah untuk order makanan. Yang si Mamat ni pula, dia asyik terkebil-kebil sambil mendongak kepala membaca menu. Bimbang macam mana nak order makanan dekat akak cashier tu nanti.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kemudian bila tiba giliran Mamat, akak cashier tersebut terus menunjuk ke arah menu yang terpampang di atas kaunter sambil mengajukan soalan standard mereka kepada customer. Hati Mamat lega seketika kerana soalan akak cashier itu tadi berbentuk objektif. Dia hanya perlu memilih salah satu daripada set yang tersedia. Dengan nada sedikit cemas Mamat berkata;<br /></div><br />"Set A..... satu."<br /><br />"Baiklah cik, satu set A. Cik nak yang original atau spicy?"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Tak semena-mena hatinya terasa sedikit tersentap dengan soalan akak cashier tersebut. Lantas dengan nada marah dia berkata;<br /></div><br />"ORIGINAL LAAA!!!"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Terkebil-kebil akak cashier tersebut kerana volume suara Mamat tiba-tiba berubah amplitud. Tetapi sebagai seorang pekerja yang berdedikasi, dia tetap melayan permintaan costumernya dengan baik. Selepas selesai transaksi pembayaran, Mamat pun beredar ke meja makan dengan muka yang mencuka.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Semasa makan di meja, Mamat terperasan yang rasa ayam KFC nya lain daripada selalu. Langsung ke laut rasanya. Dan struktur serta warna ayam juga berbeza dari member-membernya yang lain. Lantas dicubitnya ayam dipinggan membernya. Yang ini baru betul ayam KFC, bentak hati Mamat. Mamat jadi tak puas hati bercampur dengki. Dan Mamat pun terus memberontak buat kali kedua;<br /></div><br />"Mana boleh macam ni! apa pasal ayam aku tak PEDAS??!!!!"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0