Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Gua sedang leka kunyah cucur di satu sudut kedai. Gua konfius dengan cucur yang gua beli dari pasar malam tadi. Adakah ini cucur badak, cucur udang, atau semata-mata cucur kodok sahaja. Sedang leka mendeduksi makanan sendiri, datang seorang lelaki misteri duduk semeja di sudut gelap. Gua samar-samar akan wajahnya.

"Aku tahu kau ada masalah." Bilang lelaki misteri.

"Siapa yang tak ada." Jawab gua spontan.

Lelaki misteri tersebut capai kotak Winston gua. Dia dirikan kotak tersebut. Kemudian dia dirikan pula lighter cricket gua. Hati gua tersentak. Tapi gua masih belum cemas. Gua fikir lelaki ini buta tuli menembak.

"Merah." Lelaki misteri senyum sinis.

"Shit." Gua dah tak dapat sembunyi cemas gua.

Lelaki misteri tersebut menghulurkan sepucuk Colt .45. Sial.

"Nah, jalan penyelesaian. Hapuskan memori kau." Lelaki misteri semakin serius.

Hati gua dari berdebar bertukar jadi marah.

"Kau tak ada hak nak campur urusan aku. Memori ini aku tak akan hapuskan." Balas gua tegas.

"Kenapa tidak? Kau nak kekal sebagai lelaki gagal sampai bila?"

"Aku tahu aku gagal, aku bacul. Tapi aku tak mahu hapuskan memori ini."


Lelaki misteri menghempas tangannya di meja. Mata aku terpaku pada jam tangan nya. Jam retak berjenama Milane. Aku semakin gusar.

"Kau mesti hapuskan! Atau hati kau tak akan terbuka sampai bila-bila!" Jerkah lelaki misteri seraya mengeluarkan kepala nya dari bayang.

"A...a.. aku?" Terperanjat beruk aku, hampir terjatuh dari kerusi sendiri.

"Ya, aku adalah kau. Alter-ego kau sendiri." Jawab lelaki misteri sambil menyalakan rokok Winston aku.

Tangan aku menggeletar mencapai pistol di atas meja. Aku off kan safety nya. Jari telunjuk bersedia pada picu. Muncung pistol dihala pada kepala sendiri.

"Ini yang kau mahukan bukan?!! Lupakan segalanya?! Bunuh diri??!!" Mata gua berair.

"Yaaa. Dan supaya kau tak mati tertanya-tanya, aku akan beritahu kau satu lagi perkara."


"Ini cucur badak." Jawab lelaki misteri sambil menyuap cucur ke mulut sendiri.

FUCK. Hati gua tersentap. Marah. Sangat marah. Pantas gua hala pistol pada lelaki misteri dan tanpa fikir dua kali.........


Gua tiup kepala pistol seraya berkata,

"Daging badak jual kat pasar gelap, bukan pasar malam."


"Dream. Send me a sign. Turn back the clock. Give me some time. I need to break out." -Ryan Star, Brand New Day.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Negative Attitude and Concealed Feelings.

Makes a perfect hypocrite. I wonder if it is natural by nature or just being a plain coward? These past few days, I just learned a thing about microexpression. Because it is a micro, it is almost impossible to notice without years of practicing.

Although, we occasionally did detect if someone was lying. It is that we wasn't that sure and was afraid if the other would suddenly snap when being accused. Or maybe we just being polite.

I support any romantic proposal. I love romantic movies. I know how to be romantic. But it never occur to me to try to be one. Because for one thing, that I know for sure, people tend to get tired. And after that every to fade to black. It is called commitment.

I saw many girls fb's status, and some from blogs. It seems that they were living above the cloud nine and they loves it. I love to be surprise like this, I love to be pamper that way. When will they learn that there is no men like that? Once in their pants, poof, gone. Goodbye red roses here come occasionally white tulips.

But it wasn't fair to women if men being an unromantic son of a bitch their whole life. Maybe once in while it is okay, but men tends to forget. Just remind no hint and stop smothering. Men are hypocrite by nature with ego on top.

Well, in the end, just to prove when someone is lying you need to be a tougher jackass. Vicious eye contact, throw a few hand gesture, clear voice, quick on words, and most importantly, believe you're right even when you're wrong.

In a fierce conversation, we often throwing junks when we're out of facts. Then create a new believable fact. Preferable one with explainable chaining reaction, support by some true obvious facts. It is called speculate. Or gossip. It is just for the win sake. Nothing is more sweet that winnings.

Horray, only one more chapter for a new book!

Sunday, July 4, 2010


Good riddance Argentina.

What a nice game between Germany and Argentina. Salute to Argies players for showing a good fighting spirit until the end. And it is a wise decision to cheer on Germany tonight since I did enjoy the the frustrating faces on Argies fans. As the Argies scored their first goal, the crowds at mapley were cheering like hell just to know it was an offside. Hahaha...

Anyway, as I came back from mapley with a happy evil face, the billionaire song was play on the radio. The song keep playing in my mind and I just can't help it to You Tubed for it. And for a while it got me thinking. A cross reference thinking to an episode of Leverage. It has already becoming a habit for me to cross reference for everything that was on my mind lately.

There was something that tickles my mind from watching 'The Reunion Job' episode (Leverage, season 3, 2nd episode). You see, the rich mogul called Doucherman is a real life douchebag. He feel that he has a need to show off his success to his alumni fellows. He thought that it was satisfying to rub it on their faces. Well it is not.

Let me be frank with you, I was a John Doe in every school I went. Primary and secondary, there was a few people who still remember me. And I always avoid every chance I had for a reunion. At first, I thought I will join the reunion when at least I can afford my own car. But then, it got me thinking again. Why should I? What I got to say to them? There is only a few tiny bits of memories of them left inside my head. No, I better be stay anonymous.

As for my life in university, things were the other way around. From MMU to MFI, people do recognize me somehow. Even once in a while when I did visited Malacca, there was a few passerby who recognize me. Even the nyonya from mini mart still recognize me after a few years of my absentees. Then again, it did flatter me in some way.

In the Billionaire music video (Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars), Travie portray as a cool billionaire who shows an act of random kindness to any passerby. Then it struck me again, maybe if one day I did becoming a billionaire, I would do the same thing.

One death is a tragedy, a thousand deaths is a statistic. Well, the same holds true for acts of charity. - Sophie Deveraux, Leverage.

You know, instead of build a school, clinic or whatsoever, it is better to help people individually. Instead of donating a big check and make it to the front cover of newspaper, it is better to give a new car to your own relatives or friends and make it into their heart.
If I ever make it as a billionaire, Everyday I wish to wake up in different city and different country. Start with from an urban town like Tokyo, London, Manhattan, Paris to a rural town like Hokkaido, Hampshire, Dublin, Dordogne or wherever that has a serene surrounding.

My first plan is to shop anything that is shoppable. Clothes, gizmos, perfumes, or maybe some random Viking lamp. I will record my journey. Not 24/7. Just a little sneak peek of some location and some random ramblings without any further embarrassment that will mark me as a typical tourist. And at the end of the day I will write a journal that will be publish into this blog.

I will choose a few items to take with me and mail the rest back to Malaysia along with some souvenir to family and friends. And of course, a key chain for my keepsake. You see, even now I have tons of key chain on my bag. Even though I already lost some of them, I will not give up. After all, I am a man of habit. I'll make sure to buy two of them. One to put on my back pack and the other one I will mail it back to Malaysia. Heh. Just in case I lost my luggage.

After tired with shopping and some uptown activities, I will visit any rural area. Maybe rent a country home in Dublin. Walk through bed of flowers and endless road. Drink a cup of coffee in the morning. Visit any museum. Do some history research. Or maybe go fishing in Hokkaido. Visit the their fish market. Visit some farm. Like apple farm in Manchester. My parents used to visit there when I was still a baby. Maybe one day, if the farm still exist, I will visit there. I still got the address though.

Well, you know, if one is a billionaire, I doubt he or she is a nobody. As for me, as I travel for different countries, I might as well visit some technology companies, maybe if I am lucky, I can pick up few things. Or maybe I will be inspire or discover something new. Invent or improve something.

Or maybe sample some fruits or vegetables. Learn the thing that is necessary for them to grow. I always wonder how did they grow the Matsutake Mushroom. Or learn a few anglers trick. Catch some big fish and print the body on a big paper. You know, the one that the Japanese did and they frame it after that. Most likely can be seen inside a restaurant.

Well, for what its worth, I had loooong treacherous way to make it as a billionaire. I maybe will start earning my own money when I am 25. I have to pay both of my student loans. And maybe after this, house loan, car loan. Life is a debt you know and I just don't like this kind of debt. And for godsake! Robert Kiyosaki's book still doesn't make any sense. At all! Or maybe I'm too dense with business jargon.

"Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it." - Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars, Billionaire.