Prejudice.

Prejudice is making a judgment or assumption about someone or something before having enough knowledge to be able to do so with guaranteed accuracy, or "judging a book by its cover".

Source: Wikipedia

It's been a while folks. I think that I'm gonna stop blogging since I have become far more busy than ever. But I can't. You know, I am a man who can clearly gather my thought straight. All the bad thought before this, all the rant, the whining, the unsatisfied things I left it inside this blog. Since I stopped blogging, my life has become upside down. I can no longer think clearly, I speak before I think, and I had become a bloody prejudice person. And the thing that made sway that way is love.

Thank god I have never fallen in love during my studies. It is like Heaven or Hell things when you involve yourself with love. I think that I'm ready, but then again, who is ready when it comes to love. Only experiences that can make you grow stronger. Have faith. But the bloody thing called faith is not something that everyone is blessed with. I'm trying to think positive, but I just can't. Why is that? When did I have become this low?

I sometimes wonder where did my special speech go. It went like these, "Jangan risau lah. Semuanya akan okay nanti". Well, it did work for the exam, but it never work for love. To trust someone is like to put the tip of a sword directly to the heart. You know you could always ask the significant other but there is some factor called pride is involve in this game. You tried to be cool and not to show that you care too much. But you just can't. There is a always a 'What if'.

Bullshit.

I know that women loves to be care by someone. But sometimes I'm afraid she will suffocate if I show that I care too much. And sometimes I'm afraid that I'm gonna be left with broken heart. Is this normal to you? Is it? Being a human, you tend to listen to what others gonna says. Then you will judge without asking or investigate, then come the prejudice question and the fight will start.

Manly tears. it sound kind of macho in certain ways. But trust me. It is not. Maybe it is easier if you had a switch to your heart. When you wanna leave someone, you just turn off the switch and everything goes blank to right before you know her. Every event with her is a blur. How I wish I could do that. Because this has become too much for me. I'm afraid to let go and I'm also afraid to be left alone. How suck is that?

I saw that other guy are cool with their love one. And someone did said that drama is just for kids. How I wish a have a 'hati kering'. Go to hell with everything. I'm on my own now. I once said to myself that I would never ever trust someone. Not even in the tiniest bit of trust. But when love happen, you just can't help to say that you trust her completely. How stupid is that. In the end, you just can't put your trust in her. Is this the end? Should I stop before I got hurt even more? Should I become a jackass and ask her everything? Is she being straight with me or just play with me? So just she could filled the void in her heart?

Demmit!